Family & Lifestyle,  Parenting

4 Secrets to Building Self-Confident Children (#3 is my Favorite)

Written By Evelyn Castillo-Fundora

Building self-confidence in your child begins with you, the parent. Letting your child know you believe in every silly little idea they have will help them build the confidence they need and in turn use that confidence to protect them against the obstacles they will face growing up.  In this article, I want to share with you the 4 most important secrets that have helped me in raising my very own self-confident children.

People in general with a high level of self-confidence are predisposed to take healthy risks and try new things; whether it’s making new friends, joining an activity, or giving that frightful presentation in front of the whole class.

Intentional Strategies to Empower Kids

Growing up with confidence will teach your children that making mistakes is okay, while giving them the right tools to learn how to cope with their mistakes and then move on.  Below are four intentional strategies that may help you and your family, and empower your kids:


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1. Express interest in your child’s thoughts and play activities

Children are the most observant little human beings and know when your mind isn’t really focusing on them. If your body is with your children but your mind is somewhere else, your child will feel and see this, and neither you or your child will benefit from this interaction. You lose this chance to learn about your child and your child loses the value of themselves.

Focus on what your child is telling you and make sure you are 100% engaged in the activity you are engaging in with them. That shared time with your child will let them know that little imagination of theirs is worthy.

2. Acknowledge their expressions and emotions

When your children express their feelings, they are giving you the parent the opportunity to understand who they are. Once a child feels that their parent is not accepting of their emotions and expressions they will lose trust in their environment and surroundings, which includes you!

It is important for you to verbalize acceptance of your child’s emotions in order for your child to feel loved and understood. Acknowledging your child’s emotions allows them to know that you value their feelings and also lets them know that they have communicated their point.

3. Let your children overhear you say something positive about them

This is my favorite way to boost confidence in my children. I love seeing their faces from the corner of my eyes while I am speaking to someone and they “accidentally” overheard me say something positive about them.

Constantly praising someone directly may sometimes look skeptical, it’s more meaningful and believable hearing you praise them to others. And parents, this is also a great disciplinary tool. For example, I usually repeat “take a bath” about 10 times before my little guy gets it done.

While talking to grandma, my little guy “accidentally” overheard me say how proud I was of him for taking baths independently and that same day I didn’t have to say it once—in this case, I created confidence and independence in my child (while I remained headache free.)


Photo by Hannah Nelson

4. Give spontaneous hugs and kisses and tell them how happy they make you

This one is self-explanatory.

The best gift a parent can give to their child is confidence! Let’s help the children of Kendall grow up to be individuals who are happy, successful, and confident.

If you can think of any additional secrets to raising self-confident kids, please comment below and share your tips with others.

To connect with Evelyn Castillo-Fundora through social media and to see her bio click here, to see more posts from Ms. Evelyn click here.

You can also visit her practice at: Myschoolpsychologistinc.com

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